Spring is on its way and with it, spring cleaning. Many people feel motivated to organize their house and to improve their productivity around this time of year. Just like we tend to hide inside our homes in the winter, this organizational wave hits us when we sense the spring is coming.
Here are my top 5 productivity tips, including the most important tip ever:
#1: Do the most important thing first
Your Most Important Things for the day — the things you most need to accomplish that day — should take priority over everything else. However, we all know that fires need to be put out as they come up throughout the day, interruptions through phone calls and email and people dropping by have to be dealt with, and new demands that will push your plans aside. Start with what’s important.
#2: Make sure your actions are in line with your goals
If we just do any work that comes our way, we can find ourselves completing tasks without really being productive. You’re only productive if you are doing work that moves you towards a goal. Eliminate as many non-essential tasks from your to-do lists as possible, and start to say no to new requests that are non-essential.
#3: Finish what you start – Work on one thing at a time
Focus as much as possible on doing one thing at a time. Clear your desk of distractions. Pick something to work on. Need to write a report? Do only that. Remove distractions such as phones and email notifications while you’re working on that report. If you’re going to do email, do only that. This takes practice, and you’ll get urges to do other things. Just keep practicing and you’ll get better at it.
#4: Create a system
Based on your personality, life-style and type of work and responsibilities you have create a system that works for you. What works for me, for instance, is to write down in my calendar everything I want to do, including time to write blogs, to prepare for classes, and even to rest. I write “gym” in my calendar. I write “rest” in my calendar. Otherwise, it doesn’t happen. I created folders where I keep papers: Inspiration folder, future blog folder, non-urgent folder, “look on the weekend” folder. That what works for me. What works for you? When do you clean your emails? Once a day? Once a week? Once a year? Create systems. It will take some of the pressure off your brain.
#5 and the most important one: Add “want to’s” to your “have to’s”
Productivity is managing a combination of external and internal resources. Externally, you want to have the time, knowledge, and resources to get things done. Internally, you want to have motivation and confidence that you can get it done.
The key is to be motivated from anabolic (positive), instead of catabolic (negative) energy.
You might be saying to yourself “If I don’t get it done it will affect me down the road” or “I have to do it today, otherwise I’ll have too much to do tomorrow.”
The motivation to be productive in this case comes from fear.
The other source of motivation to getting things done is the “want to” perspective. This motivation is all about creativity, passion and innovation.
When you have a list of things that need to get done, start with those that you feel motivated to do, that you want to do. Add some things you enjoy, things you really want to do – like taking a walk in nature (if you love it) or taking a dance class, or maybe meeting a friend you love for coffee.
Even if your life is very busy and it feels like an endless “to-do” list, even if it feels like there’s no room for more activities, include some “want to” activities in your schedule and the rest will feel less stressful and demanding.
Of course your inner critic will tell you that you can’t afford to “waste” time with the fun activities.
This is a false voice.
Listen to your true voice. It might say something like: “I deserve to enjoy life and have fun” or “when I energize myself the rest feels effortless”
Make a list of things you have to do and things you want to do.
How’s the balance between the two lists?
What items on your “have to” could be moved to the “want to” list by changing your thinking about them?
What fun activities can you add to the “want to” list?
This post was inspired by reading Leo Babauta’s blogs at http://zenhabits.net/
Love is funny. You will fully be there for someone you love if they need you, but you can easily become annoyed when they don’t do what you expect them to do or when they don’t show their love for you.
How about showing them love first?
Let’s say that you have someone in your life – a spouse, a friend a family member – that you tend to criticize or judge. It’s really hard for you to love them. Or maybe, you get into this state of mind of “why should I love them? They should love me first”. It might be that usually you love someone but right now, you are so far away from loving them because of something they have done.
Let go.
Forgive.
Move forward.
Love them first.
Why?
Because you can’t afford to lose energy for resenting people. Use your energy for other things. Forgive them not because they didn’t do anything, but because you don’t want to give them so much power and lose your energy.
Open you heart. Look within. What do you love about this person? Even if you don’t right now, stretch yourself. What are you learning from them? What gifts do they share with you? You can find something in that person to love. It could be anything … their smile, their willingness to help someone, their generosity, their stubbornness even. Find something admirable or lovable. There’s something like that in everyone.
And then – Express your love in action.
Rise above the resentment and love them. Yes, love them first. Forget about the competition.
Give them a smile, a hug, a kiss, a good thought.
Read my blog what to do when he is pushing your buttons-3 secrets to long lasting relationships to get more ideas about sharing your love.
Bottom Line: Let go of the past, forgive, open your heart and show your love in action.
Ask: What is something I love about this person and how can I show it in action today?
Affirm: I open my heart and share my love. I am safe, loving and loveable.
Ever wake up next to your spouse and ask yourself if this is all there is, or how come it feels like you’re two strangers living in the same house?
You remember the romance, the excitement, and the love you shared when you first met and you wonder where it all went.
It is time to toss the memories and the illusions and come back to the real world.
The reality is that two people who are living together for years should not expect to feel the same type of love they felt years ago. It changes, but it’s still love.
Men and women have the same need to feel connected and to feel loved, but their definition of connection, their definition of love might be different.
She might define love and connection as deep conversations, as him guessing what’s on her mind, bringing her flowers or comforting her when she’s going through a rough time.
For him, love and connection might first mean sex, and then maybe her doing things for him or bringing him the newspaper when he’s coming back tired and stressed from work, or saying “go have some quiet time with yourself, I’ll take care of the kids.”
We create an illusion in our heads of what our relationships should look like, of how our partners should behave. We set up expectations that are unrealistic and are so far away from reality.
We focus all our energy on how they don’t live up to our expectations. We try to change them so they’ll match our “plan”, and we get disappointed. We are disappointed when they don’t do what we want them to do, what we expect them to do – and that’s why we feel that “dealing” with our spouses is like having another kid in the house.
They don’t even know that we expect them to bring us flowers or to read our minds. They have no idea that when they don’t change the light bulb we asked them to change 4 months ago, we think they don’t love us.
Men and women think differently.
Accept that.
Here are three secrets for long lasting relationships:
1: Accept that he thinks differently. Don’t expect him to read your mind.
You want him to do something for you? Tell him! Explain to him in a kind and loving way why this is important to you and ask him (don’t tell him!) if he would do it.
2: Shift your focus from him to yourself.
You want him to hug you more? Hug him. You want him to listen to you more? Listen to him. Instead of blaming him, take responsibility and change yourself: your thinking, attitude, and your behavior. Be kind and loving. Care about him. Give what you want to receive.
3: Pay attention to what he does instead of what he doesn’t
He came back from doing grocery shopping and he got some things that weren’t on the list? Instead of getting mad about the unnecessary stuff he got, thank him for getting the groceries. He cooked dinner but the kitchen is a mess? Thank him for dinner instead of being angry about the mess. Pay attention to the little things. Acknowledge him for it.
My husband and I are married for over 25 years. All those years, almost every morning, he makes our bed. I wake up and leave my side of the bed messy, and he fixes it. 25 years. Did I ever tell him that I appreciate him doing that? Last week, our cars were parked outside and in the morning the windows were covered with ice. My husband left first, and even though he was late, after scraping the ice off his window he came back to the house and left the ice-scraper on the kitchen counter for me, so I don’t have to look for it when I leave. Did I thank him for that? No, I took it for granted.
Love can be expressed in little things. There is no right way. The illusion we have in our heads is not the only way.
Was there something my husband did that day that made me mad? Probably. Did I do something that disappointed him? I’m sure I did.
What do we feed? What they did or what they didn’t?
You want to make sure that the positive far outweighs the negative. When couple’s interactions are usually loving and kind, when they pay attention to the small things the other does for them, it’s much easier to move past the occasional unpleasant exchange.
Many women have a tendency to take care of others before taking care of themselves. We do whatever we can for our kids, partners, parents, friends – and even strangers sometimes. We end up exhausted and disappointed that we don’t receive as much love as we give.
But do we give it to ourselves?
Do we treat ourselves as well as we treat others?
We all have a beautiful, authentic, kind, genuine spirit.
It’s our ego and the negative thinking in our head that keep us disconnected from our spirit.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath and look within your heart. Like there is nothing else around. Just you, your breathe and your heart. The inner peace you feel when you do that, even if it’s for only a few seconds – that’s how it feels when you are in touch with your spirit.
Recognizing your spirit, finding this love within yourself, will help you love and accept yourself which will in turn help you take care of others.
Don’t feel selfish! Feeling loved is your birthright. It’s only once you start taking care of yourself that you can really start to take care of others.
Bottom line: Accept that you are a beautiful, authentic, kind, genuine spiritual being.
Ask: If I were my best friend, what would I love about myself?
Affirm: I love myself because loving myself is part of my spiritual journey.
Most of the women I work with struggle with exercising. They feel like they have so much on their plate, they’re always on the run and there is always something more important to do than exercise. Yet, they keep bringing up creating a healthy life style as one of their main goals.
When I ask what stops them from living a healthy balanced life they say:
- I don’t have the time
- I’ve got to do so much stuff
- I plan to do it but than something comes up
- I run in and out and I’m always on the go
- By the end of the day I have no energy and in the morning I have to work
The next question I usually ask them is what toll not exercising has on their lives.
They are very clear about that: feeling guilty for not taking care of themselves, neglecting their health, no outlet for stress, having no energy and having extra weight.
So how do you break the cycle? How do you stop beating yourself up and start excercising, like you did when you were younger and life was less demanding?
Commit to an achievable, measurable goal and get very clear about your motivation
Let’s check this out:
Achievable goal – start with a small easy goal, one that’s realistic for you. Maybe ideally you want to exercise 5 times a week. Start with twice on the first week. Maybe you want to run 5 miles every day. Start with half a mile twice a week.
Measurable goal – How many times a week? How long? What time will you start and what time will you end? How would you measure your success? It’s not enough to say “I want to get in shape!” You have to be able to easily answer all those questions and then, you’ve got to write it in your calendar. Monday from 8:00 – 8:45 am: exercise. Clear and measurable. No flexibility, no doubt.
Your motivation – this is a very important yet often overlooked step! If you don’t understand why you’re doing it, it’lll be hard for you to stay motivated. I asked one of my clients this week how would she feel if she was able to exercise like she wants to. She said: “I will feel energized, stress-free, happier, healthier and peaceful.” She had to get in touch with the benefit in order to get motivated to do it.
Your commitment – Commitment, in this case, means a few different actions:
You write it down in your calendar
You commit to yourself and to your coach (or to your friend) so they will hold you accountable. No excuses!
You create an affirmation, to remind you of your motivation. You retrain your brain by practicing the affirmation every day. For example:
Exercising makes me happy, healthy, energized and peaceful.
So every time you hear the voice in your head telling you: “don’t go. You have too much going on.” Remind yourself: Exercising makes me happy, healthy, energized and peaceful.
And remember: start with an easy goal. Small step. Your small success will create more success in the future.
Everyday life (even when things are going well) can drain our energy and leave us empty. Life is demanding. We shouldn’t wait for a crisis to take care of ourselves; we should be self-loving and self-compassionate, and work to keep the balance daily.
It doesn’t take a major, life-changing event to drain you. Your partner pushed your buttons? You lost some energy. The customer service representative made you frustrated? You lost more energy. A “wave” of sadness came up suddenly, reminding you a traumatic experience form your past? You lost more. Sure, those things shouldn’t bother you. You shouldn’t lose energy to them. But they do. That’s human.
You end up having an “energetic overdraft” and if you don’t take action to restore balance, you will feel more and more drained. Just like with your bank account, it pays to take care of the overdraft quickly, before the fees pile up.
The key for keeping the balance is to make a conscious choice to re-energize, rejuvenate, and nurture yourself daily.
Don’t wait for your summer vacation or for the next time you can take time off from work.
There are so many ways to do this and you have to try different things and see what works for you.
You will find lots of ideas in my “52 Balance Tips” series. Make it fun: try things you haven’t done before. Whether it’s taking a break to read an inspiring book, taking a hot bath, walking in nature or drinking herbal tea, you’ll feel the difference.
A Reiki student & life-coaching client of mine shared with me that she’s feeling very drained right now, in the midst of a move to a new house. It is understandable that she feels that ways because moving is is always a huge stressor, physically and emotionally. She knew that she wouldn’t have time to everything she usually does – like friendly socializing, yoga and running, but she did make it a priority to keep doing the coaching with me, to give herself 20 minutes of Reiki every day and to take some quiet time for herself daily. In this way, even though she doesn’t have time for her full “balance routine”, she can still prioritize and what little free time she has to stay energized in the mean time.
I love my life. I am excited to wake up in the morning knowing that I am going to coach people or give and teach Reiki. I couldn’t accomplish all of this if I didn’t take time to rejuvenate.
If you’re curious about my personal 4 non-negotiable balance actions, click on this link:
4 non-negotiable balance actions
But this post is really not about me. It’s about you.
How do you rejuvenate yourself? Please scroll down and write in the comment’s area.
You can balance your life by wearing, eating, and using a variety of colors
Many people know that colors affect their moods, reflect their emotions and can even change their behaviors. So how can we use the power of colors to balance our energy? By using as many colors as we can in our daily lives!
The colors of the clothes you wear influences you and those around you. Many times, we tend to wear the colors we need the least. For instance, when you are depressed, wearing black or grey will feed your depression, where yellow and orange would cheer you up! It’s difficult for some to wear certain colors, but try it anyway – even just as socks and underwear.
Why do colors have such a powerful influence on us? Because colors correspond to the Chakras (energy centers). When a Chakra is out of balance, we can stimulate it with the associated color to raise its vibration and restores balance in the system.
Be creative with your color choices. Add colors to your home.
You don’t have to paint your walls – just add accessories that can be changed as needed. For example, if you need grounding, get a red candle, some red art, or just red roses. For creativity, add a bowl of oranges to your work area. Add yellow accessories or sunflowers if you need to lighten your attitude or if you need more confidence. Having problems with relationships? Add green plants, decorative green grasses or bamboo. Add a blue poster, painting, curtains or even a piece of furniture to stimulate your ability to communicate and express yourself.
The Bottom Line: Colors affect our moods, emotions and behaviors. Adding colors creates balance.
Ask: What are some ways in which I can add colors to my life today?
Affirm: I allow the colors of the rainbow to add balance to my life.
This book is the story of Gretchen Rubin’s happiness project. What she tried, what she learned and how she spent one year of her life researching happiness and creating fun in her life. She had a wonderful life before she started, but thought she might be even happier. She chose 12 resolutions and focused on a different subject each month. Her topics, by order of months were: Boost Energy, Remember Love, Aim Higher, Lighten Up, be Serious about Play, make time for Friends, Buy some Happiness, Contemplate the heavens, Pursue a Passion, Pay Attention, Keep a Contented Heart and Boot Camp Perfect.
I like how Gretchen draws not only on the recent research in the field of positive psychology but on the wisdom of ancient philosophers and thinkers.
In a humorous way, Gretchen shares practical tips and gives fun ideas to create more happiness in life. For example, some of her tips for “Be Serious about Play” are: Take time to be silly, go off the path, and start a collection. I loved reading the whole book and applying it to my life and now it is simply sitting on my nightstand and I open a random page and read whenever I need a “Happiness Boost”.
Here is something I learned from the book:
One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy.
One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
“The Gift of Balance in Your Life – May you find the balance of life, time for work but also time for play. Too much of one thing ends up creating stress that no one needs in their life.” - Catherine Pulsifer
Whether you are a full time mom, a business owner or working for someone else, you are probably trying to divide your time and attention between work, yourself, and the people you care about. Work-life balance means different things to different people. Is it coming home after a long day leaving work stuff behind? Or if you work from home, is it actually leaving the house for some nurturing activities?
I usually go to the gym three times a week. When I exercise, I feel healthier, more energized and free from the “clutter” in my head. This week, I gave 3 presentations to different groups of women. With the time it took to prepare for the presentations, it was a packed week. I skipped my second exercise da and then almost skipped my third exercise day. It was hard to decide if I should skip it to catch up on work, or go anyway.
One of the women in my presentation this week shared that she works too much and rests too little “but I don’t have a choice”, she said. “I have to work so much and I have no time to rest”. There is nothing I can do about it. It’s work.
I remembered her when trying to make up my mind about the gym.
Really? Do we not have a choice?
We do! We are in charge of our choices and decisions. Our brain tells us that we’re not… that working so much is a fact, not something that could be changed. But it’s not a fact. It’s our choice, even if it doesn’t feel like it. We have a lot more control over our lives than we think.
I ended up going to the gym. I was so energized and motivated when I came back that it actually took me less time to get things done. Writing my blog was easy since creativity and inspiration were simply flowing. I know that clearing my head while exercising was the key.
For me, exercising is important in order to keep work-life balance.
Of course there are other important factors as well: setting boundaries with how late I work, allowing myself to take breaks, to rest, to do something fun, to socialize and to feel that there is more to life than work.
Here are my Top 7 Work-Life Balance Tips:
1. Create blocks of time for work, family and self. If both you and your partner are working, have a conversation and coordinate “together time”, “alone time” and “work time”. Sometimes it is just a matter of having a conversation and making plans, but most people are have more success by writing it in their calendars.
2. Protect your “non-work” time. During your family or alone time, don’t work! It is better to spend only an hour with your kids, but to be fully present to them, no phone, no emails, than to spend several distracted hours with them. Same goes for your alone time. Taking a walk by yourself or with a pet? How about enjoying the moment and leaving the phone at home?
3. Do one thing at a time. The result of doing a million things at the same time is stress, low productivity, over-exhaustion and burnout. If there are more than 3 documents open on your computer screen, that’s a red flag. Work on one task at a time and when you’re done move to the next one. If you are a full time mom and you also have your own business, wear your “mom’s hat” for a block of time, and concentrate fully on your responsibility as a mother. This way, you won’t feel guilty when you switch to your “career hat” and devote yourself to that. Trying to do both at once creates unnecessary tension.
4. Identify and cut your time wasters. Once you’re clear with your priorities and your blocks of time, you have to make sure you don’t fill it up with activities that are time consuming and unproductive. I’m not talking about fun activities, because those are important, but I am talking about activities you get addicted to and spend too much time on without much reward Examples are: computer games, facebook, watching TV for a long time, etc.
5. Make dates with your kids. If you have children, plan individual time to spend with each one of them, undistracted. Whether it’s a walk in nature, picnic in the park or baking together, this quality time will means so much both for them and for you.
6. Make dates with your partner. If you are married on in a relationship, the best way to make your relationships a priority when you are busy with work is to plan at least one evening a week where you’re both devoted to being with one another. Don’t expect your partner to initiate it. Do it yourself. Show them that they are important for you and your time together is valuable, no matter how busy you are.
7. Make dates with yourself. When we talk about work-life balance, alone time is the first thing most people give up. The irony is that when you spend time with yourself it energizes you, makes you centered and creates a sense of inner peace. You really need it in order to live a balanced. It doesn’t happen by itself. Plan ahead and schedule time in your calendar.
To support you, we have created a FREE “Improving Your Work-Life Balance” Guide. First you will evaluate areas that need improvement and then you’ll prioritize and take steps to improve.
Download the free guide by clicking on this link
“Improving Your Work-Life Balance” Free Guide
Please share with us which of my 7 tips was your favorite.
