Researchers from University of California Irvine and the US Army found that being cut off from work email significantly reduces stress and allows employees to focus better.

Those with no email reported feeling better able to do their jobs and stay on task, with fewer stressful and time-wasting interruptions, the researchers found.

As women, we juggle between many different roles. It is challenging for us to be engaged in anything we do. We want to be fully present for our kids when we spend time with them – but we end up checking emails. We want to be more productive at work, but we keep checking emails constantly.

Taking a break from checking emails will actually boost your productivity.

One of my clients enjoys reading a book every evening and I was curious to know how she can find the time to do it. She told me she doesn’t open her laptop when she gets home from work. She checks her emails in the morning and before leaving work. The rest of the evening is living life and taking care of herself.
Her routine might be too extreme for you, but how about creating some email-free time every day?

For example, when I’m at the gym, I use my iPod, not my iPhone, so I can enjoy listening to music without having to fight the impulse to check emails. When I cook, I leave my phone in the other room so I focus only on cooking. I would like to get better with creating some email-free time every evening, to allow me to calmly transition into a good night sleep.

What about you?
Try to fit “email – break” time into your life and it will help you reduce your stress and be more productive.

Maybe you made a to-do list last night, and are now stressing about how long it is. Maybe you didn’t make one, so you don’t even know everything you have to do, which is even worse. Maybe you have some important meetings or plans for the day, or something that requires your creativity. Either way, you need to be your best (that might be next thought).

All this within seconds of waking up. You’re already overwhelmed, rushed, and stressed by your thinking.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that the whole day is still ahead of you! Even if you wake up like this, you can still turn it around. I had to do it this morning.

I was an assistant teacher for iPEC coaching training this weekend, and I got home very energized last night. Still, I had so much catching up to do after the weekend; emails, calls, scheduled coaching sessions, laundry, cooking, writing a blog (I had missed my own deadline!). I made a list of all of these last night.

I woke up at 6:30 this morning. My impulse was to get straight to work, to start with my blog and then do the rest. The little voice in my head said: “You can’t afford to waste any time.” I felt overwhelmed, decided to skip my morning meditation, and went straight to my computer to write my blog.

I sat down and opened a blank page, and then… nothing. Blank. Want to write but can’t. Not even one sentence.

What’s going on? It’s 6:40 AM and I’m already stressed? Where has my creativity gone?

Oh yeah, I teach this stuff. I knew what I had to do. I stopped. I observed. I evaluated.

I went back and did my morning routine. I meditated and gave Reiki to myself for 20 minutes – like I do every morning.

Then, I took a walk outside for 30 minutes.

During my walk, I had a burst of creativity. I couldn’t wait to get back home and write.

I had my breakfast, showered and went straight to my computer. It was now 8:00 am. I was so centered, focused and energized that it only took me 30 minutes to write this blog.

If I wrote from the “can’t afford to waste time” state of mind it probably would’ve taken me 2 hours, wouldn’t have been as good, and I’d be left feeling frustrated and drained.

Getting centered, walking and eating mindfully connected me to my best self and made my creativity come alive.

So if you wake up and feel like you’re already behind on your work, don’t despair! You can fix it!

There are 3 things you can do to be best when you feel overwhelmed:

1. Identify the thought in your head that makes you stressed and change it.
2. Make time to get centered: meditation, inspirational reading, journaling, etc.
3. Get moving: walk around the block or with your dog, exercise, dance, stretch.

Shake things up – and you’re ready for the rest of your day!

“All we an do is try to rise beyond the question ‘why did it happen?’ and begin to ask the question ‘what do I do now that it has happened?” (p. 71)

In other words, things happen. They just happen. Instead of asking yourself “why me?” focus on what can you do moving forward. What can you do from this point on?

You lost your job? And what if it’s actually an opportunity for you and it happens for the best?

As Steve Jobs said: “You cannot connect the dots looking forward but you can connect the dots looking backwards.”

Kushner discusses different causes of human suffering. His belief is that God isn’t responsible for creating suffering, nor preventing it.

My experience confirms this philosophy. Imagine 2 people in the same tough situation. One might choose to suffer and one might choose to grow. They might not even know they’re choosing. Whatever happened might throw you out of balance, but it’s your reaction that will either keep you there or help you come back. That’s where we have the freedom of choice. Some things are just circumstantial, and there is no point in looking for a reason for them, but it’s in our hands to do something, to grow, to heal, and to make the most out of any situation.

I had a friend who lost everything in a house fire. And when I say everything, I mean everything. The amount of support she got from the community was amazing. She and her family have since moved to a new house and started all over again. It was a terrible tragedy, but they were able move forward and to create a life that feels more authentic than the life they had before.

“The God I believe in doesn’t send us the problem; He gives us the strength to cope with the problem.” (p. 127)

This book offers comfort, support and insight to people who have been hurt or see people around them hurting and ask themselves why. 

“I’m very reactive to my family needs” says my client Ruth. “I have to make sure everybody else is taken care of before I take care of me” says Susan, another client.

When I ask my clients about their most important values, family often comes up.

Family is important but we can’t be overprotective or too controlling.

It’s normal for a mother to want to take away the pain from her children and protect them from the world, even after they’ve grown up. My daughter lives far away from home, and whenever she calls me sounding a little tired, sad or frustrated, my instinctual response is to find what’s wrong and try to fix it myself, from far away. When my son was in college, I also wanted to be there to take care of him whenever he sounded too busy to take care of himself. But here is the thing: even if I could fix my children’s problems, would I ultimately be helping them grow or enabling them?

Helping them would make me feel better, but I recognize that a lot of the time I’m depriving them of an opportunity to find their own way. I want them to take their own path. It’s their journey to happiness, not mine.

I love them enough to let them find their way.

Whether it’s your children, your parents, your partner or your siblings, shift your focus to supporting them on their own path rather than trying to control them or convince them to do what you think is the right thing. Sometimes people just need your support, not your advice.

The Bottom Line: Shift your focus to supporting your loved ones on their journey, rather than making it fit with yours.

Ask: How can I help them without enabling them?

Affirm: I let others find their way and I am free.

I hear this all the time from the women I work with. It doesn’t matter if they’re full-time moms, full-time workers, or business owners – it’s always the same. They feel like they can’t add even one more thing to their busy life, they are over-stressed and don’t know how to deal with it.

They try to re-organize their schedule so they can fit one more thing, so they can load their plate with one more item.

They might have a small victory. Maybe for few days they feel better. But then it returns: the same overwhelming feeling that creates stress and tension.

If you are one of these women, let me give you the key to solving this problem. Instead of making space to add more, take things off your plate.

For each task on your to-do list, ask yourself:

1. Why do I want to do it? (Do I even want to do it?)
2. Do I have to do it myself?
3. Do I have to do it now?

At home, you might spend a big chunk of your time doing things for your family members. It might be that you are enabling them by doing things they can do themselves. If you have teenagers at home, can they do their own laundry (including folding)? Just think how well prepared they’ll be for college! If you’re picking out outfits for your young kids (or husband!), how about trusting them to do it themselves? You want to support your sick parent, but how about hiring someone to help you?

At work, are there other people who might take some of your projects? Even if you know that you’ll do a better job than them, is it the stress? How about trusting that they’ll do the work the best they can, and accepting it even if it’s not perfect? What are some tasks on your list that you can decide not to do right now, knowing that the world will still be the same?

You are burnt out. You’re stressed. You’re setting yourself up for a high maintenance life and a huge amount of responsibilities and obligations.

How about saying “no” sometimes?

“Mom, can you take me shopping?” I wish I could but I have plans.

“Can you host this event?” I would, if I had more time. Let’s give somebody else an opportunity this time.

“Would you join us for this upcoming meeting?” I am focusing on doing one thing at a time so let me get back to you when I’m done with this project.

Years ago, I would volunteer to any event that my kids had in their school. I would be the first one to raise my hand and say: “I’ll bring the cake” or “I’ll host the party”. The result? I felt burnt out, frustrated and overburdened. As they grew up, I grew up too. I learned that it doesn’t always have to be me. It’s OK to let other people help too!

From time to time, I still have this feeling of having too much on my plate. I have to remind myself that I can take things off it.

After all, it’s my choice. And yours too.

One of my clients, let’s call her Jane, is getting a divorce. It was her choice. Today she was upset and anxious. She’s been restless and unhappy for a few weeks, crying for no apparent reason. We took a closer look at what’s going on, and recognized that she’s doing fine in many aspects of her life: she’s successful professionally, she’s doing yoga which she loves, she’s meeting with friends and travelling. Within a few minutes, she was able to see the anxiety in the right proportion – as just one small aspect of her life, and a natural part of what she’s going through.

After all, who wouldn’t be anxious when taking such a brave step and walking away from an unhappy relationship? She’s giving up the familiar for something new.

I suggested that she keep the balance by giving less power to her anxious and more power to feeling excited, hopeful and free. We can choose how to distribute our power by recognizing where it’s going and taking a look at the bigger picture of our life. Jane’s power was going to the anxiety surrounding her divorce by default. Once she opened her eyes wider and saw that it was just one part of her life, the anxiety lost its power.

She committed to ask herself every morning: “what am I choosing to give power to – fear or freedom”?

The Bottom Line: Emotions might feel huge & overwhelming. By taking control over our emotions we bring them, back to their actual “size”.

Ask: What am I choosing to give my power to?

Affirm: I choose freedom over fear.

It made me think:

Why do we prefer to blame others or to blame the situation, and instead of seeing our part in it and how we change the situation?

How many times do we get a clear message that the solution is simple, we know how to solve a problem, but we don’t take the action?

Is it because we want to do it our way?

Are we too stubborn? Our ego that preventing us from admitting our faults?

In the 12-step programs they say, “our troubles are our own making”.

Real healing, real personal growth happens when we are willing to admit out faults.

In every situation, there are some things we can control and some we can’t. We can never control other people but we can always control or at least influence our thinking, feelings and actions.

It’s always easier to blame somebody else than to take responsibility. But when you’re blaming someone else, pointing your finger at them, your 4 other fingers are still bent and pointing towards yourself.

If we accept responsibility, we can consciously change our thinking. Taking responsibility helps us be less resentful. Resentment creates conflict, tension, catabolic energy. Resentments releases un-healthy catabolic hormones in our bodies.

Remember the woman at the escalator?

She could have actually create anabolic, positive energy in the same situation by changing her thinking. If instead of thinking “I’ve had a bad day and I deserve to stand wherever I want” or “who are you to tell me to move?”  she could have looked at it as, “glad to help” or “hope he catches his flight” she could’ve replaced the resentment with gratitude and peace.

We are in charge of where we stand.

We have the power to control our thinking, feelings and actions, as long as we are willing to see our part, change our thinking and behavior and not try to change somebody else’s.

If you feel fine or even grateful, good. No need to change anything. But if you find yourself thinking “oh, I have to do this again?”, it might be time for some change.

One of my clients, a single mother, got into a habit of crawling in bed with her 2 boys every night (for their bedtime, not hers) and falling asleep with them. The result: no time for herself. Her days were work, kids, dinner, bed. Putting her kids to bed became ad obligation, and she kept doing it even when she didn’t enjoy it. During her coaching session we brainstormed some ideas and she created her ideal evening routine. She surprised her kids with the change (kids love excitement!): reading them a story every night, letting them fall asleep by themselves and then having the evening for herself. She tried something new and she loved it. Bedtime became something she actually looked forward to!

Are there any routines in your life that could stand to change? What areas of your life would you like to make more enjoyable?

Think outside the box and come up with a new, maybe even unexpected action you can take.

For example: if you’re a multi-tasker, it might be fun for you to try doing one thing at a time instead. Really engaging with what you’re doing. Focus completely on doing the dishes or walking your dog without talking on the phone or listening to music or thinking about what you’ll do next. On the other hand, if you spend most of your alone time quietly, try listening to music while doing the dishes. Many times, doing the unexpected adds fun to your life.

Have a playful attitude, have fun with trying something new.

Bottom Line: Think creatively how to turn a boring task into a fun activity

Ask: What routines in my life could stand to change?

Affirm: Playfully, I try something new and unexpected and I make life more fun.

In Passover (also called the holiday of Spring), Jews from all over the world clean their houses of all leavened bread and gather around the table for the Seder (which means order) to tell the story of the exodus from Egypt.

Christians remember the day that Jesus rose from the dead by celebrating Easter. Hot-cross buns would be eaten on Good Friday and Easter eggs on Easter Sunday.

In Egypt, Sham el-Nessim marks the beginning of Spring and is celebrated by Egyptians of all religions (the main ones being Christianity and Islam). Families go out for a picnic and eat traditional foods, including colored boiled eggs.

Hindus celebrate Holi, a religious spring festival, by throwing scented powder and perfume on each other.

Though the holidays themselves are different, what is common to all is the ritual repetition. In each culture, the same tradition is repeated every year. Families gather together. Roles might change – young kids collecting Easter eggs grow up to decorate the baskets and give it to their children, teenagers who reluctantly sang traditional songs around the Seder table grow up to encourage their own children to do the same.

Roles change but rituals stay.

Rituals create memories and traditions.

Rituals create meaning and connection.

Last night, I was singing the traditional Passover songs and eating the traditional food with my daughter and my family members in Israel while my husband and my son were doing the same with friends in Atlanta. It made me think about the special connection being created between people all over the world singing the same songs, eating the same food, and probably telling some of the same jokes.

As a Balance Expert, I am always curious to explore different aspects of balance and happiness.

There is so much unpredictability and stress in our daily life that each one of us, no matter our background, is longing for a reason to stop and do something familiar and meaningful, something we do every year. Yes, we might complain about the need to do it. We might feel tired from all the preparations or just not be in the mood. But when we get to the moment where we gather with others to follow the familiar rituals, we feel at peace, we feel at home, we feel connected.

Cherish these moments, Use it as an opportunity to stop, take a deep breath and notice all the gifts you have in your life. Know that you have the freedom to live your life the way you want. But keep the traditions. Repeat the rituals. They add meaning and connection to your life.

Spring is the most hopeful time of the year, a time to share our faith, human connection, traditions and rituals.

One of my coaching clients homeschools her kids. She spends most hours of the day with them, every day. She has no reason to feel guilty for taking time off for herself, but she does. We decided to change this. Her commitment this week was to plan an hour every day where her husband would watch the kids while she did something she enjoys by herself.

One day, she watched a movie. Another day, she listened to her favorite inspiring radio show. Another day she took a walk. She had to plan it ahead, to make arrangements with her husband, to explain the new habit to her kids and to choose her activity. She also had to do some internal work of identifying the beliefs and thinking that usually prevent her from doing all of that. She did all of the above – and was very happy with the results.

She was able to slow down, to clear her head and she felt a lot more focused than before. She noticed she had more patience and was nicer to her husband and kids after enjoying time by herself. Her kids actually like the idea of having “me-time” and one of the sons told his brother: “Mom is having mom’s –time, don’t disturb her.”

When you take time to do something for yourself, something that you want to do because you enjoy it, not because you have to, you’ll benefit and so will the people around you.

The Bottom Life: Plan “me time” in advance

Ask: what do I love doing and how would I feel if I had this time for myself?

Affirm: I create “me-time” in my life and I am centered, calm and focused.

Barbara Brown Taylor, the author of this book, an Episcopal priest since 1984, served urban and rural parishes before leaving parish ministry to become a teacher in 1998. While she still preaches and teaches at churches and universities across the country, she writes more and more for the “spiritual but not religious” crowd.

I heard about this book from a dear friend, a Jewish Rabbi, who was inspired by her writing and thought I would be too. I was.

Taylor reveals meaningful ways to discover the sacred in the small things we do and see, beginning with simple practices such as walking and working. Something as ordinary as hanging clothes on a clothesline becomes an act of meditation if we pay attention to what we’re doing and take time to notice the sights, smells, and sounds around us. Making eye contact with the cashier at the grocery store becomes a moment of true human connection. Allowing yourself to get lost leads to new discoveries.

As we incorporate these practices into our daily lives, we begin to discover altars everywhere we go, in nearly everything we do. Through Taylor’s expert guidance we learn to live with purpose, pay attention, slow down, and appreciate the world we live in.

Her book is a practical spiritual guide of everyday living.

One of my favorite parts of the book is “The Practice of Wearing Skin”

Taylor talks about being comfortable living in your own body: “Whether you are sick or well, lovely or irregular, there comes a time when it is vitally important for your spiritual health to drop your clothes, look in the mirror, and say: Here I am. This is the body-like-no-other that my life had shaped. I live here. This is my soul’s address.”

An inspiring book to have on your nightstand and read a chapter every time you need to feel connected and loved.

The challenge was that my daughter (18) is in Israel and I’m in Atlanta 6500 miles away.

When my son left to college a few years ago, I had my first experience with this difficult parenting challenge: letting your children go. I’ve used some of the experience from my son to support me with my daughter’s absence. Overall, I’ve felt pretty good with this transition.

Until she got sick.

We have lots of family and friends in Israel. She is not really by herself. But I am not there!

I have to admit that in today’s world, long-distance communication is so simple. With iPhones, Skype, calling cards, etc., keeping in touch is not difficult. Sometimes it’s even free.

When my daughter went to the doctor, I knew almost every second what was going on with her. But still – it felt like millions of miles were separating between us.

I used all of my coaching skills and Reiki tools to stay centered. Just like I was doing for the last 5 months, since she left, I made sure to be present for her, staying high energy, strong and positive. I knew that her body was telling her to slow down because she over exhausted herself. As she was behaving like a sick person might behaves – feeling a little sorry for herself, complaining about feeling bad, I reminded her that she doesn’t have to be strong and positive all the time. She should allow herself to be sad, angry, frustrated, and it’s even ok to cry.

I had to remind myself of the same: it’s okay to feel worried and a little helpless. It’s not realistic to expect to be high energy all the time!

Taking a step back, I know that I did everything I could. I made sure she asked for support, I was present for her. I even asked our wonderful Reiki community to send her Reiki.

Soon, the crisis was over. She got the medical care she needed and life went on as usual.

It was a challenge, but like most challenges, it ended up teaching me a lesson.

It reminded me what true balance is.

Balance doesn’t mean being “up” all the time. It doesn’t mean being only happy and positive, no matter the circumstance.

Balance means accepting whatever comes up and allowing it to be – whether that’s being happy or sad, positive or negative, angry or grateful.

It is very natural for our mind to criticize and judge. People tend to look at the negative before looking at the positive.

On top of that, we set unrealistic expectations on ourselves, like wanting to be 100% perfect 24/7.

All those tendencies create a constant feeling of disappointment, frustration, and guilt.

We are out of balance.

Our expectations and our reactions throw us off balance.

How do we fix?  We can see it our life as a process. We can look at our progress rather than expect perfection.

One of my clients this week, let’s call her Joyce, had a few days of effective and supportive communication with her husband. She was able to communicate in a kind and compassionate way and she thanked him for his support. Over the weekend, they had a fight and went back to their old behavior of creating conflict, each trying to “win the war”.

When she shared her frustration with me, I suggested that she choose a new perspective for this week:

What do I want to have more of, and what do I want to have less of?

With this new approach in mind, she realized they were already having more of the new, positive communication and less of the old, negative one.

This is a success and needs to be seen as such! Most of the week was better than before, even if the old behavior persisted for some of it.

Look at your life from a different perspective and set up realistic expectations:

I want to have more of…… and less of….

The Bottom Line: Instead of expecting yourself to be perfect, plan to have more of the new, positive behavior and less of the old, negative one

Ask: What do I want more of, and what do I want less of?

Affirm: I want to have more X and less Y and I allow myself to take steps for success

Mindfulness is paying attention to your current experience without judging it. It’s a way of breaking out of the our habitual behaviors and thought patterns, a way of turning off the autopilot.

Our experience as human beings is incredibly rich and constantly changing. We have the five senses plus the mental faculty of thoughts and feelings all happening together, but we’re unaware of a lot of this much of the time.

Ever get in the car, pull out of the parking lot, and then suddenly “wake up” when you get home with little memory of everything in between? What most likely happened is that you were absorbed in thoughts and fantasies while you were driving – what you’re going to do when you get home, annoying things your boss did that day, what you wish you had said to your friend during lunch, etc – one thought after the next. This is the default mode for most of us.

Now imagine this version of the same drive, but done mindfully. You’re open to the senses. You’re aware of the feeling of your foot on the gas pedal, you notice some dust on the dashboard, you notice that the trees are a little different than last time you looked. When a thought about the past or the future arises, you recognize it as such and return to the present rather than staying in the thought world. You might even notice how anxious or self-judging thoughts manifest as tension in different areas of the body, so you relax these tensions. You get home with a clear head, feeling content and ready for whatever comes next. (Note that thoughts and emotions are not being suppressed or repressed here – they’re acknowledged and recognized for what they are, but are not allowed to dominate over everything else.)

This second mode is sometimes referred to as the “experiential mode” and there is increasing evidence to suggest that it leads to greater happiness and well-being.* Paying attention is simply more enjoyable than being lost in thought, and most of us have had experiences of “being in the zone” that reflect this.

The ideal endpoint is complete mindfulness at all times – no matter what you’re doing, you’re able to effortlessly stay in the present, aware of everything in your experience without being stuck in the past or the future. This is really difficult because you’ve probably been practicing the opposite for most of your life!

So how do we get there? The key is to practice being mindful in an environment that supports it. It’s a lot easier (still not easy!) to be mindful when you have a few minutes to sit alone without external distractions, than when you’re put on the spot at a meeting. This is the point of meditation practice.

Start by taking a few minutes every day, maybe 5 or 10 minutes at first. Set a timer and commit to put aside the past and the present for those few minutes (turn off your cellphone!). Sit comfortably and notice how your body feels. Notice the breath. Whenever you find your mind wandering, recognize it and return to the body and the breath. You might find it helpful to mentally whisper to yourself “thinking” when this happens. Don’t get angry when the mind wanders. The point is not to keep the mind still, but to notice when it wanders.

Having the foundation of a sitting meditation practice makes it easier to extend the same kind of mindfulness to the rest of your life. This will happen naturally, but you can also choose specific routines to perform mindfully, such as brushing your teeth, eating breakfast or lunch, walking up the stairs, picking up the phone. Every moment you spend being mindful will lead to more of these moments in the future, and ultimately a happier and more fulfilling life.

* http://www.nytimes.com – When the Mind Wanders, Happiness Also Strays
http://articles.latimes.com – This is your mind on meditation: less wandering, more doing
https://docs.google.com/ – Mindfulness meditation reveals distinct neural modes of self-reference

When you pause, you let happiness catch up to you, you let inspiration catch up to you, you let inner peace catch up to you, and you let intuition catch up to you.

When you pause, you let the present catch up to you.

Our past dominates our thinking. Past experiences, past fears, past beliefs – they are all stuck in our mind. Many of our current habits are based on the past.

If we grew up in a family that taught up that food is love, we will crave food when we want to feel loved. If society taught up to sacrifice ourselves for others, we’ll feel guilty every time we do something for ourselves.

That’s in the past. In the present, we pause – we recognize the feeling, we recognize the thought behind the feeling and we change the thought.

We say to ourselves: “The thought that food is love has control over me now. It makes me anxious and out of control. I pause. I ask for a more support thought. I change the thought, and the feeling changes.” The new thought might be: “I connect to people from my heart; I give and receive love freely. I eat to nurture myself.”

The old thought will no longer control us. We can take control.

The pause is the answer to so many of our problems. Such a small thing, and so powerful.

The Bottom Line: Pause – and you might be able to change your thinking, your habits, your behaviors.

Ask: What might be a more supportive thought?

Affirm: I pause and I listen to my true inner voice.

Picture from a Reiki 1 class in Atlanta

Here are some cool facts about Reiki:

1. Anyone can learn Reiki. No prior experience is needed.
2. Reiki has become a more mainstream tool for stress reduction. Moms are using it for their kids, men and women are using it for themselves, and animal lovers are using it for their pets.
3. It is a simple and quick tool to learn. By the time you finish my six- hour level 1 class, you become an effective Reiki healer and can start using it immediately.
4. The greatest gift of Reiki is the ability to use it for yourself.

I have trained over 200 people with Reiki. I see its miracles in my life every day and I am honored to see my students’ lives changing in front of my eyes.

So what is Reiki? I will tell you in very simple words.

But first, let me share one more thing.

In my last level 2 class, I asked my students to describe the biggest benefit that Reiki brings into their lives. That was before they took the level 2 class. After only 6 hours of the level 1 training, here are some of the responses:

I feel so blessed by the gift of Reiki, and I love sharing it with my children. They are 4, 6 and 8 years old and I have been meditating with them for about a year. Since becoming a Reiki practitioner, I have begun giving them each Reiki before bed at night. We are all in one room and I start with a short kid-friendly meditation, then I rotate from kid to kid giving them each Reiki. I usually do 4 chakras on each child and then move to the next. Often they fall asleep before I even finish. It has become such a beautiful bonding experience and they say it really helps them fall asleep. I love that they already feel such a connection to reiki at such a young age!
- Kelly Hixon– mother of 3

Reiki is the greatest gift I could ever receive. It allows me to be centered, to accept peace & happiness into my life.
– Patricia Burford

Reiki has been transforming in my life. I love all of the healing benefits of Reiki but the biggest benefit to me has been my connection to source and focusing on my spiritual journey. It has been a re-birth for me in so many ways.
- Stephanie Colletti

I became a very positive person, living one day at a time. I see the good in each person and I try to give my love and support to the people who need me.
- Ana Berducido

The biggest gift the Reiki brings into my life is the ability to reduce stress, and calm others.
- Maricuz Sherman

Isn’t it amazing?

So what is Reiki?

Reiki is a Japanese Healing Modality that shifts energy on a physical, emotional and spiritual level so that your whole mind-body-spirit is in balance. Reiki helps to clear blocks and to shift energy from an overactive area to an under-active area. When our energy is flowing freely, we are healthier, less stressed and more relaxed.

If you are interested in reading more about Reiki and signing up for the next level 1 class please click on this link: Reiki 1 class

You will learn how to balance your Chakras and how to restore balance and harmony. You will gain lots of practical experience and special techniques to heal yourself and others. You will also learn how to treat injuries and help the body to heal faster and how to use the Reiki for stress reduction.

Learn more about Reiki 1 class

People usually look for external conditions for happiness and well-being. We think… if only I had X, I could be happy. If only I went on vacation for a week, I would be fine. This might work for a short while, and going away is a wonderful way of recharging your batteries. But for the effects to last, you need to improve your well-being and happiness levels internally.

When you rely on something outside yourself – people, places, things – the good feeling can be taken away as easily as it is given.

One of the keys to keeping the balance is to take daily actions for rest and rejuvenation rather than waiting until it is absolutely necessary.

Although you cannot force yourself to feel peaceful and happy, taking care of your well-being daily will leave you with “energetic surplus” that’ll be available whenever it’s needed.

Taking care of your well-being daily will help you to respond rather than react. It will give you the energy you need to cope with life, and  It will keep you balanced.

The Bottom Line: Avoid “energetic overdraft” by taking care of yourself and creating a “energetic surplus”.

Ask: What are some simple activities you can do daily to improve your well-being?

Affirm: I fit rest and rejuvenation into my life, daily.

A lot more than you think! You might look at you life and say, there is no way I can be happy with this job or witht his relationship or with this body that I have. You might be one of those people who wake up in the morning to start another “average” or “ok” day, not feeling too excited to get out of bed.

Some people have a “wake up call”. They get sick, go through a divorce them or someone close to them dies.  Something that shakes up their life. They use it as a turning point.

Maybe you haven’t been in this situation, and people look at your life and think that it’s perfect. That’s not how you feel. Something is missing.

Don’t wait for a wake-up call. Choose happiness now.

In the late 1940’s, a group of scientists in the United States and Europe began to study the relationship of feeling and of lifestyle and cancer. Over the years they came to a general agreement that Illness is caused by many factors: genetics, the environment, exposure to other illness, emotional traumas, stress level and more. But a person’s feelings and lifestyle play a role in their recovery process.

Lawrence LeShan, Ph.D., a psychotherapist who has worked with cancer patients for many years, writes in his book Cancer as a turning point: ”If there is one thing we have learned about the immune system, it is that the best way it get it to function on a higher level is to have a life that is full of enthusiasm. […] Having selected those activities which turn you on, you are treating yourself like as if you are worth really taking care of.”

When I read his book, years ago, I was really touched by the success stories he shares about so many cancer patients who were able to use cancer as a turning point and make changes to live a fuller, richer life. It made me think: Why do people need a wake-up call to change their lives and move into the direction of being fully happy?

For a person to become happier, it requires a complete change of their perception and thinking about themselves and life. We grew up trained toward what we should do rather than what we would enjoy doing; toward what we’re supposed to have in our life rather than what we really want. Our actions are usually based on these “shoulds” rather than on the question of “what would fulfill me – what style of being, relating, creating would bring me to a life of zest?”

One of my clients, let’s call her Kim, is going through a challenging transition in her life. She decided to leave a stable job because the in environment in which she worked in felt toxic for her. Overcoming her fears, she made a brave decision to take control over her life and look for another job. Her decision affects not only her, but also her husband and her kids. Her anxiety level is high those days. Let’s just say she is not the happiest woman on earth right now. Would she be able to follow her decision by a positive change and find a good new job?

This week, she spent 10 minutes every day doing something she really loves. 10 minutes, that’s all. For 10 minutes a day she was able to stop thinking about new job and earning money and to be fully present with doing her passion.  She was much happier than she were a week ago. She also created a “quiet time” routine in the mornings before going to work (still her old job) getting centered and setting an intention for the day.

There are 2 actions you can take to become a happier you:

1. Find something you love, something that makes you enthusiastic (what makes you completely zone and forget about the world out when you do it?) and do it regularly!
2. Develop a practice of mindfulness, getting centered, being in the moment.

By doing those 2 things, you are choosing happiness. You are moving towards living a fuller, richer life.

Start small: what do you love doing? What makes you centered?

“A question not asked is a door not opened” – Marilee Adams, PhD.

Most of the time we tell. We tell people what we want. We tell our children what we expect. We tell our spouse what needs to be done. We tell our friends what to do.

Sometimes it works and sometimes it creates tension. If we are not happy with the response we get, we feel resentful, maybe even angry. We are disappointed. They don’t do what we tell them to do. When we resent we’re out of balance.

Stop telling and start asking.

You want your spouse to do something for you?

Ask: How do you feel about doing that for me? When will be a good time? May I please ask you something? What ideas do you have about getting it done?

Your friend asking for support?

Ask: How do you feel? What are your choices?

Want your children to clean their room?

Say: you can clean up your room now in 15 minutes and then we’ll take a walk in the park or you can do it tonight before bed.

Ask: what do you choose?

“A question not asked is a door not opened” – Marilee Adams, PhD.

Open the door. Ask and listen to the answer. You might get what you want with less effort if you do that.

Bottom Line: When you ask questions, you open the door for flowing communication, for cooperation.

Ask: How can I communicate this as a question instead of a statement?

Affirm: I ask questions and I open the door for better communication.

Sharing her experiences, her patients’ experiences, and other people’s experiences, Lerner teacher us how to make anxiety our friend, how to deal with the fear of not being good enough, how to manage shame and much more.

One of my favorite chapters of the book is “Your Anxious Workplace: Staying Calm and Clearheaded in a Crazy Environment”. Her advice is effective not only for dealing with a toxic workplace but also for dealing with toxic family members: stop blaming, Hang out rather than hide out, no gossip, know when to stop, and many other skills and tips one can use to deal with external negativity.

The message is that we all face fear in spite of our education, knowledge, courage, or any other characteristic that supposedly makes a person fearless. When we accept fear as a natural occurrence in our lives, we learn to deal with it better.

Lerner quotes the words of the late poet Audre Lorde: “ When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it become less and less important whether I am afraid.”

I am using this book both in my own life and with my clients. I always encourage myself and others to “think big”, to “dream big.” This book will help you to release the anxiety, fear and shame that might stop you from getting to where you want to be.