Most of the women I work with struggle with exercising. They feel like they have so much on their plate, they’re always on the run and there is always something more important to do than exercise. Yet, they keep bringing up creating a healthy life style as one of their main goals.
When I ask what stops them from living a healthy balanced life they say:
- I don’t have the time
- I’ve got to do so much stuff
- I plan to do it but than something comes up
- I run in and out and I’m always on the go
- By the end of the day I have no energy and in the morning I have to work
The next question I usually ask them is what toll not exercising has on their lives.
They are very clear about that: feeling guilty for not taking care of themselves, neglecting their health, no outlet for stress, having no energy and having extra weight.
So how do you break the cycle? How do you stop beating yourself up and start excercising, like you did when you were younger and life was less demanding?
Commit to an achievable, measurable goal and get very clear about your motivation
Let’s check this out:
Achievable goal – start with a small easy goal, one that’s realistic for you. Maybe ideally you want to exercise 5 times a week. Start with twice on the first week. Maybe you want to run 5 miles every day. Start with half a mile twice a week.
Measurable goal – How many times a week? How long? What time will you start and what time will you end? How would you measure your success? It’s not enough to say “I want to get in shape!” You have to be able to easily answer all those questions and then, you’ve got to write it in your calendar. Monday from 8:00 – 8:45 am: exercise. Clear and measurable. No flexibility, no doubt.
Your motivation – this is a very important yet often overlooked step! If you don’t understand why you’re doing it, it’lll be hard for you to stay motivated. I asked one of my clients this week how would she feel if she was able to exercise like she wants to. She said: “I will feel energized, stress-free, happier, healthier and peaceful.” She had to get in touch with the benefit in order to get motivated to do it.
Your commitment – Commitment, in this case, means a few different actions:
You write it down in your calendar
You commit to yourself and to your coach (or to your friend) so they will hold you accountable. No excuses!
You create an affirmation, to remind you of your motivation. You retrain your brain by practicing the affirmation every day. For example:
Exercising makes me happy, healthy, energized and peaceful.
So every time you hear the voice in your head telling you: “don’t go. You have too much going on.” Remind yourself: Exercising makes me happy, healthy, energized and peaceful.
And remember: start with an easy goal. Small step. Your small success will create more success in the future.
Everyday life (even when things are going well) can drain our energy and leave us empty. Life is demanding. We shouldn’t wait for a crisis to take care of ourselves; we should be self-loving and self-compassionate, and work to keep the balance daily.
It doesn’t take a major, life-changing event to drain you. Your partner pushed your buttons? You lost some energy. The customer service representative made you frustrated? You lost more energy. A “wave” of sadness came up suddenly, reminding you a traumatic experience form your past? You lost more. Sure, those things shouldn’t bother you. You shouldn’t lose energy to them. But they do. That’s human.
You end up having an “energetic overdraft” and if you don’t take action to restore balance, you will feel more and more drained. Just like with your bank account, it pays to take care of the overdraft quickly, before the fees pile up.
The key for keeping the balance is to make a conscious choice to re-energize, rejuvenate, and nurture yourself daily.
Don’t wait for your summer vacation or for the next time you can take time off from work.
There are so many ways to do this and you have to try different things and see what works for you.
You will find lots of ideas in my “52 Balance Tips” series. Make it fun: try things you haven’t done before. Whether it’s taking a break to read an inspiring book, taking a hot bath, walking in nature or drinking herbal tea, you’ll feel the difference.
A Reiki student & life-coaching client of mine shared with me that she’s feeling very drained right now, in the midst of a move to a new house. It is understandable that she feels that ways because moving is is always a huge stressor, physically and emotionally. She knew that she wouldn’t have time to everything she usually does – like friendly socializing, yoga and running, but she did make it a priority to keep doing the coaching with me, to give herself 20 minutes of Reiki every day and to take some quiet time for herself daily. In this way, even though she doesn’t have time for her full “balance routine”, she can still prioritize and what little free time she has to stay energized in the mean time.
I love my life. I am excited to wake up in the morning knowing that I am going to coach people or give and teach Reiki. I couldn’t accomplish all of this if I didn’t take time to rejuvenate.
If you’re curious about my personal 4 non-negotiable balance actions, click on this link:
4 non-negotiable balance actions
But this post is really not about me. It’s about you.
How do you rejuvenate yourself? Please scroll down and write in the comment’s area.
You can balance your life by wearing, eating, and using a variety of colors
Many people know that colors affect their moods, reflect their emotions and can even change their behaviors. So how can we use the power of colors to balance our energy? By using as many colors as we can in our daily lives!
The colors of the clothes you wear influences you and those around you. Many times, we tend to wear the colors we need the least. For instance, when you are depressed, wearing black or grey will feed your depression, where yellow and orange would cheer you up! It’s difficult for some to wear certain colors, but try it anyway – even just as socks and underwear.
Why do colors have such a powerful influence on us? Because colors correspond to the Chakras (energy centers). When a Chakra is out of balance, we can stimulate it with the associated color to raise its vibration and restores balance in the system.
Be creative with your color choices. Add colors to your home.
You don’t have to paint your walls – just add accessories that can be changed as needed. For example, if you need grounding, get a red candle, some red art, or just red roses. For creativity, add a bowl of oranges to your work area. Add yellow accessories or sunflowers if you need to lighten your attitude or if you need more confidence. Having problems with relationships? Add green plants, decorative green grasses or bamboo. Add a blue poster, painting, curtains or even a piece of furniture to stimulate your ability to communicate and express yourself.
The Bottom Line: Colors affect our moods, emotions and behaviors. Adding colors creates balance.
Ask: What are some ways in which I can add colors to my life today?
Affirm: I allow the colors of the rainbow to add balance to my life.
“The Gift of Balance in Your Life – May you find the balance of life, time for work but also time for play. Too much of one thing ends up creating stress that no one needs in their life.” - Catherine Pulsifer
Whether you are a full time mom, a business owner or working for someone else, you are probably trying to divide your time and attention between work, yourself, and the people you care about. Work-life balance means different things to different people. Is it coming home after a long day leaving work stuff behind? Or if you work from home, is it actually leaving the house for some nurturing activities?
I usually go to the gym three times a week. When I exercise, I feel healthier, more energized and free from the “clutter” in my head. This week, I gave 3 presentations to different groups of women. With the time it took to prepare for the presentations, it was a packed week. I skipped my second exercise da and then almost skipped my third exercise day. It was hard to decide if I should skip it to catch up on work, or go anyway.
One of the women in my presentation this week shared that she works too much and rests too little “but I don’t have a choice”, she said. “I have to work so much and I have no time to rest”. There is nothing I can do about it. It’s work.
I remembered her when trying to make up my mind about the gym.
Really? Do we not have a choice?
We do! We are in charge of our choices and decisions. Our brain tells us that we’re not… that working so much is a fact, not something that could be changed. But it’s not a fact. It’s our choice, even if it doesn’t feel like it. We have a lot more control over our lives than we think.
I ended up going to the gym. I was so energized and motivated when I came back that it actually took me less time to get things done. Writing my blog was easy since creativity and inspiration were simply flowing. I know that clearing my head while exercising was the key.
For me, exercising is important in order to keep work-life balance.
Of course there are other important factors as well: setting boundaries with how late I work, allowing myself to take breaks, to rest, to do something fun, to socialize and to feel that there is more to life than work.
Here are my Top 7 Work-Life Balance Tips:
1. Create blocks of time for work, family and self. If both you and your partner are working, have a conversation and coordinate “together time”, “alone time” and “work time”. Sometimes it is just a matter of having a conversation and making plans, but most people are have more success by writing it in their calendars.
2. Protect your “non-work” time. During your family or alone time, don’t work! It is better to spend only an hour with your kids, but to be fully present to them, no phone, no emails, than to spend several distracted hours with them. Same goes for your alone time. Taking a walk by yourself or with a pet? How about enjoying the moment and leaving the phone at home?
3. Do one thing at a time. The result of doing a million things at the same time is stress, low productivity, over-exhaustion and burnout. If there are more than 3 documents open on your computer screen, that’s a red flag. Work on one task at a time and when you’re done move to the next one. If you are a full time mom and you also have your own business, wear your “mom’s hat” for a block of time, and concentrate fully on your responsibility as a mother. This way, you won’t feel guilty when you switch to your “career hat” and devote yourself to that. Trying to do both at once creates unnecessary tension.
4. Identify and cut your time wasters. Once you’re clear with your priorities and your blocks of time, you have to make sure you don’t fill it up with activities that are time consuming and unproductive. I’m not talking about fun activities, because those are important, but I am talking about activities you get addicted to and spend too much time on without much reward Examples are: computer games, facebook, watching TV for a long time, etc.
5. Make dates with your kids. If you have children, plan individual time to spend with each one of them, undistracted. Whether it’s a walk in nature, picnic in the park or baking together, this quality time will means so much both for them and for you.
6. Make dates with your partner. If you are married on in a relationship, the best way to make your relationships a priority when you are busy with work is to plan at least one evening a week where you’re both devoted to being with one another. Don’t expect your partner to initiate it. Do it yourself. Show them that they are important for you and your time together is valuable, no matter how busy you are.
7. Make dates with yourself. When we talk about work-life balance, alone time is the first thing most people give up. The irony is that when you spend time with yourself it energizes you, makes you centered and creates a sense of inner peace. You really need it in order to live a balanced. It doesn’t happen by itself. Plan ahead and schedule time in your calendar.
To support you, we have created a FREE “Improving Your Work-Life Balance” Guide. First you will evaluate areas that need improvement and then you’ll prioritize and take steps to improve.
Download the free guide by clicking on this link
“Improving Your Work-Life Balance” Free Guide
Please share with us which of my 7 tips was your favorite.
The most conscious people are the ones who recognize a gift of the moment when it happens.
One morning this week, I got a little frustrated with my dog. She had been eating dirt outside in the yard and got sick. Although we have a fenced yard, we decided to supervise her when she’s out so she stops this new habit. It was a cold and foggy morning… too early for going outside when my bed is so warm and cozy. As I step outside to the yard, leaning my head down thinking to myself “why do I deserve this” something made me raise my head and look around me. I was completely shocked to notice how beautiful was the view, when the trees are waking up, the fog is starting to thin and the universe is presenting itself refreshed and anew. I didn’t want the moment to end. My heart was filled with gratitude. I felt so supported by powerful nature. The picture I took on my phone is just a reminder. Believe me, it was much more beautiful.
Thanks to my dog and her annoying habit, I had the honor of feeling the gift of the moment.
Later that day, I had a coaching session with Patricia, one of my clients who said to me: “I realize that we go through the day without looking. We forget to accept and appreciate. We forget to notice the sky, the clouds, and the beauty. When your eyes open, you heart opens up and life is lighter.”
Synchronicity.
The same message twice in one day.
Bottom line: Raise your head, look around you and appreciate the gifts of the moment.
Ask: What am I grateful for and what do I appreciate in life?
Affirm: I raise my head, I look around me and I appreciate the gifts of the moment.
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I shall have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning” – Mahatma Gandhi
Why having a vision is important
Gandhi’s visualization of having a free India became a reality years after it started as a simple picture in his own mind.
Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech was his own vision that has been manifesting as reality (not fully, but we’re on the way).
1988 Olympics’ participant Ruben Gonzales describes his months and years of training for his first Olympics: “Whether I was jogging, lifting weight, eating dinner, or simply walking in the mall, in my mind I was walking into the opening ceremonies at the Olympics, the crowd was cheering wildly; to the right I could see the Olympic flag waving… and 4 years later, when I actually walked out into the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, it was exactly the way I imagined it – only a hundred times better.”
Creating a vision means making a mental picture of something you want to become true. Visual images have a huge impact on your brain. One of the most exciting scientific breakthroughs of the past decades has been the discovery that we are constantly making new brain cells and brain cell connections. When you create images of your vision, you train your subconscious mind to create a reality from your vision.
If the picture of your future is vague – that will also be your reality.
Make it clear – and you are half way to the future you want.
So what’s the first step?
The first step is creating your vision. You can do it in any of the following way:
- Writing – Think about your life a year from now, as if there are no limitations and the sky is the limit – and write down every details you can about your life
- Reading – read inspirational stories of people who made their dream into a reality and ask yourself how you can apply their stories to your own
- Talking – Put it out there, tell people what’s your intention and vision
- Visualization – Close your eyes, imagine your life a year from now, as if there are no limitations and the sky is the limit. Make it alive. Believe in it.
So let’s say I know what I want. What’s the most effective way to manifest my vision?
The most effective way it to manifest vision is to get into action mode and do one or all of the following (depending on your personality & learning style):
- Meditate on your vision daily
- Create affirmations of your vision and practice them
- Break down your vision into goals and set up an action plan
- Make a spread sheet of small actions you want to take
- Get professional support or an accountability buddy
- If you came up with goals and actions, give them a deadline and schedule it in your calendar
- Make your own Vision Board, look at the board every day and ask yourself: what’s a small step I can take today to make this vision a reality?
But I have tried it so many times before…
That’s why I’m here!
I have been there myself, making New Year’s resolutions and fining old dusty vision boards in my basement…
Not anymore!
What changed?
My thinking.
I have learned to change my beliefs and thoughts, to retrain my brain so I believe 100% in my vision. I got a professional to help me close the gap between my vision and my reality. Otherwise, I wouldn’t live the passionate life I live right now, I wouldn’t have the successful business I have right now, the house of my dream, the relationships I want and… the list is long. It’s not perfect, but it is so much better than I ever imagined. I’m so excited to create my next vision and turn it into a reality. We always learn and grow…
Life is Good!
Yours can be too!
Email me to schedule your free 15-minute “reality check” coaching session. Would love to help you!
It’s a human nature to judge. We all do it.
We judge others, we judge ourselves.
When we judge and criticize others, we get angry and disappointed with them. When we judge and criticize ourselves, we feel guilty and ashamed.
Often, we blame others for something we struggle with ourselves. For instance, when you are all motivated to exercise and eat healthy you might judge someone who isn’t. You forget that just a few weeks ago, you were struggling just like them. You judge your friend for being too controlling or trying to fix their children or partner. Wasn’t it just last night when you were in somebody’s face trying to tell them how they should be?
When it comes to ourselves, we tend to forget our attributes, successes, achievements and to focus on what we haven’t done, what we could have done better. We judge and criticize ourselves and the result is that we beat ourselves up.
We are out of balance.
What can we do?
Evaluate objectively – instead of judging and criticizing.
It is not going to change the facts but it is defiantly going to change your reaction.
If you step back, get into an observer mode and evaluate the situation (yours or others) objectively, you will not lose your power over what happened. Instead, you will manage your emotions, cope with whatever happened in a balanced way and move forward with your life.
The Bottom line: Judging and criticizing create and spread negativity. Step back, observe and evaluate.
Ask: What might be a reason I (or they) behave like that and how can I be compassionate?
Affirm: I let go of judging and criticizing, I evaluate objectively and I’m free.
Often we have an idea of what our life should look like. Thinking big and having a vision is essential in the process of creating the life you want, yes, but if taken too far, you might end up in a dream world with unrealistic expectations. You also expect others to act according to your plan. But they don’t know that and even if they do – can you really control others? They have their own agenda just like you do. For example, you might expect your partner to behave in a certain way: to always clean after themselves, to smile and hug you, to surprise you, to buy you a big gift for your birthday. They are not perfect. No one is.
You also expect a lot from yourself. Especially if you are an over achiever, like many of us are, you get caught in this “marathon” feeling of moving forward, pushing harder, having more success, producing more. Before you know it, your expectations from yourself are as high as the sky and you end up being disappointed.
Chances are that if you have a tendency to expect the impossible from yourself, you also do it with your partner, your friends, your co-workers and the whole world. You keep being disappointed and frustrated and your life is out of balance.
So how do you regain balance?
You pause and check: is this realistic? How can I phrase it (both in your head and when you’re communicating with others) in a more supportive way? How can I leave a window open to let others be who they are and find their own way?
After you re-set your expectations, make sure you communicate them clearly.
Remember that other people cannot read your mind. (at least most of them…)
While writing this post, I realized that many of my expectations from myself were completely unrealistic for today. My plan was to fit in 3 hours stuff that should take at least 6 hours. Thank you, my dear readers, for being both my students and my teacher…
What do you expect from yourself and others which is unrealistic and how willing are you to change it?
What would 2012 be like for you if you could bring greater balance and peace into your life? Balance doesn’t happen by itself. It requires action, but it doesn’t have to be hard or complicated. Those of you who have worked with me before know that I’m all about baby steps. Start small. Break it down. Make sure what you’re aiming for is realistic. Make it simple.
In this new series, “52 Balance Tips”, I am going to share with you simple ways to create balance in your life. Everything I’ll share with you has been proven successful and has brought balance to people’s life. But here is the key: you have to make it your own. You have to actually do it. Reading is not enough. Get engaged in the process: take notes, journal, adjust it so it fits your needs, share with others, ask me questions and most importantly, make it fun.
Are you excited? I am too. So let’s start.
My first tip is – start a new chapter, and write it yourself.
Imagine that you could leave your past behind. That you could stop labeling the past as “good” or “bad”, trusting that any past experiences that might benefit you now are already part of your being, part of your “wisdom data”. Imagine yourself writing a book. The book of your life. You are done writing a chapter; your turn the page over and you start a new one. You are writing your book. It is your own creation, so you can create whatever you want. You don’t expect others to write your new chapter for you. You don’t blame life for forcing you to write the new chapter. You enjoy the freedom of writing it yourself.
Your Balance Action:
Start your day with turning the page and starting a new chapter.
Close your eyes take a deep breath and ask yourself “what would I write in my new chapter today”?
Pick up your journal, write “Today’s Chapter” and write down how you’re taking charge of the day, and writing your own book.
Inspire me and others: what did you write? Share with us.
